For Whom Are You Holding Your Head High?

I am guessing you all have figured out by now that I am kind of "high strung" as my husband puts it. I really try to calm down and not let myself be anxious over things. I have been doing a pretty good job lately. Well, today something out of the blue and out of my control unfolded before my eyes. It has caused me to be in a state of panic, humiliation, etc. It is not the end of the world, but it will have lasting effects of people's opinions of me. So, my husband, who is feeling some of the same things over this, reminded me that God knew this was going to happen and so what if people have the wrong impression. Beyond God, does it really matter what opinions people have of you? I know in general yes, it does. We should be a light unto the world, and people should see Christ through us, but when things are beyond your control and you do not like the end result-Does it really matter? No, it does not. I am reminding myself of something I say to my children quite often when they worry over friends and what they think of them. I ask them, "If Christ were right here would you be able to hold your head high about the details of this particular circumstance. If so, stop worrying about it!" So, if you are like me and worry way too much about what others think, remember who you are holding your head high for.

Menu Monday

I am trying to get back into menu planning. I was doing well for a while, then we became too, too busy.Which means spending too much money eating out, or in our case, having food delivered. So, I am getting back into planning. For the weekend I have started making sure I have food for 3 meals on hand and waiting to see what is going on and preparing the food accordingly. We will either start the Sabbath Saturday night with a meal, or have it after church on Sunday. Occasionally, we close the Sabbath with the big meal on Sunday night. I have enjoyed doing that as well.

Monday- Baked chicken and potatoes with fresh asparagus
Tuesday- Pot Roast
Wednesday- Slower Cooker Pork Chops and Gravy with rice, and green beans
Thursday- Grilled Chicken, Cous Cous, Salad
Friday- Black Beans and Rice, Spinach Salad
Weekend Meals- Grilled London Broil, Smoked Ribs, Hot dogs roasted over the fire, broccoli salad, sweet potato fries, German Potato Salad, fresh asparagus.

It is Official

The adoption is finally official! Micah is legally our child now. We had the hearing this morning. I am so glad to put this year behind us. This journey has been difficult, but as with anything journey God sends you through, we have grown tremendously. I hope I have learned to be more sensitive to others and to know that people need grace when they are suffering. I have learned how important it is to be teachable during these times of your life. We are so thrilled to have Micah in our lives. He is truly a blessing. We are also thankful for the added benefit of the friendships which have grown from this. We could never do enough to thank the people who have helped us through this time. But here is a big THANKS to you all!

Planning

I am stuck in one area in my planning for the children's schooling. I am good with curriculum. I already know what I will need help with and what I will do on my own. I am stuck with the daily schedule. Not so much coming up with it, but how to present it to the kids. I know I may not be making much sense. Maybe it is because
I am still a little confused about what I am looking for. Until this year They have been pretty dependent upon me. They have known we follow a schedule, but they would still come to me for what needed to be done next. Isaac is getting older and needs to take a little more responsibility in this area. Time management is not his strongest attribute. Sarah on the other hand has to be told to calm down if she thinks she is getting off of her schedule. There are pros and cons to both, but one needs the responsibility and one just wants it. So, I am looking for a daily planner or assignment sheet to hand them. Isaac's days go much better when it is laid out for him in visible form and there are consequences when he does not complete each goal. Without that he is distracted every step along the way. I know I could make my own and I may do it. I was just hoping to find something already done that I can input the info on a monthly basis (I have found with small children doing it for the year just discourages me. Someone is sick or I spend my day in constant conflict,it throws everything off, and then I have to re-work everything.) Then I would just print it out and give it to them. I really do not need all of the record keeping that comes with most programs. We are not there yet and the older they get I will probably let VP handle all of that. Any suggestions?

We're Back

So, we're back. As much as I try to deny it, we are home. We had a great vacation. It is so true that you never realize how stressed you are until you take that much needed break. I finally feel like this last miserable year is behind us. There was so much closure, for me at least, in being able to visit with Micah's mother and our incredible friends without the adoption hanging over our heads. We could actually be friends and have a ton of fun. At least we did. I hope they did too!:) This is a trip Bruce and I would not normally just take. My husband sensed my need to unwind and find closure and with a place to stay, great friends to take our children, and cheap plane tickets we did it. Not sure when or if it will happen again, but I am glad we did it! Enjoy the pictures.

Aloha

My blog has not been my priority lately. I am coming back to it, though. I have lots of thoughts mulling around my head. But, they will have to wait. You see, Bruce and I have a vacation planned. We are leaving Thursday for a full week in Hawaii WITHOUT CHILDREN!! Actually, while I know it is very important to have this time alone and we really need to unwind after the year we have had, I know I will be guilty of constantly thinking, "Oh the kids would love this!" We have wonderful friends who are keeping all 5 of our children on top of the 9 they already have! Some of their children are much older than mine, so they will have some help. The kids are so excited and I know they will have a blast. We cannot wait to spend time with our friends without the heaviness of everything that was going on the last time we were there. So, I am off to pack. I will post pictures and details when we get home.

Children and Grieving

I have a confession. Bruce and I have sat through so many adoption classes and left them thinking they were full of a bunch of liberal mumbo jumbo. For the most part they would always advocate some kind of birth parent contact. It could be as simple as a letter on their birthday to being a part of the family. I want to protect my son so, I will not say a lot about our situation but, he got the raw end of the deal on an open adoption so, we were turned off. We still believe the child should be put first and it is not a given that openness is always best. I think if the adoptive family is going to make a commitment then for the sake of the well being of the child, the birth parent should make a commitment as well. They should not communicate when it is easy and drop off the face of the earth when they are ready to move on. Especially if the child is old enough to remember them. Why am I thinking through all of this now? It actually has nothing to do with Micah's adoption. We are not sure what is going to happen there, but we do trust that if she makes a commitment either way she will stick to it. I'm thinking through all of this because I have been approached numerous times recently with adoptive parents whose children are hitting that 7 to 9 year old range and realizing what it means to be adopted. The are grieving and trying to understand. It is heartbreaking to watch. They want to know what we did to help Isaac get through it. That is hard. The thing we have learned is the grieving process is cyclical. You think they are through it, but then they get to a point when it rares its head again. So, the question I have is this. Are the social workers correct? Is it better when their is healthy, responsible contact? You see, I have been doing a little observing. WE know several adoptive families. A lot of them have some sort of contact with the birth families. It seems as though those who do, even if it is just a letter once a year, are having an easier go at it. Now, I acknowledge I do not live in their homes and maybe they have a whole other list of issues. And maybe I just see the longing in my son's eyes when they talk about visits with or letters from their birth parents. Anyway, I am just thinking. Any opinions out there? I do not know how much of an adoption crowd I have, but I would love to hear your thoughts.