Monday, March 30, 2009


My blog has not been my priority lately. I am coming back to it, though. I have lots of thoughts mulling around my head. But, they will have to wait. You see, Bruce and I have a vacation planned. We are leaving Thursday for a full week in Hawaii WITHOUT CHILDREN!! Actually, while I know it is very important to have this time alone and we really need to unwind after the year we have had, I know I will be guilty of constantly thinking, "Oh the kids would love this!" We have wonderful friends who are keeping all 5 of our children on top of the 9 they already have! Some of their children are much older than mine, so they will have some help. The kids are so excited and I know they will have a blast. We cannot wait to spend time with our friends without the heaviness of everything that was going on the last time we were there. So, I am off to pack. I will post pictures and details when we get home.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Children and Grieving

I have a confession. Bruce and I have sat through so many adoption classes and left them thinking they were full of a bunch of liberal mumbo jumbo. For the most part they would always advocate some kind of birth parent contact. It could be as simple as a letter on their birthday to being a part of the family. I want to protect my son so, I will not say a lot about our situation but, he got the raw end of the deal on an open adoption so, we were turned off. We still believe the child should be put first and it is not a given that openness is always best. I think if the adoptive family is going to make a commitment then for the sake of the well being of the child, the birth parent should make a commitment as well. They should not communicate when it is easy and drop off the face of the earth when they are ready to move on. Especially if the child is old enough to remember them. Why am I thinking through all of this now? It actually has nothing to do with Micah's adoption. We are not sure what is going to happen there, but we do trust that if she makes a commitment either way she will stick to it. I'm thinking through all of this because I have been approached numerous times recently with adoptive parents whose children are hitting that 7 to 9 year old range and realizing what it means to be adopted. The are grieving and trying to understand. It is heartbreaking to watch. They want to know what we did to help Isaac get through it. That is hard. The thing we have learned is the grieving process is cyclical. You think they are through it, but then they get to a point when it rares its head again. So, the question I have is this. Are the social workers correct? Is it better when their is healthy, responsible contact? You see, I have been doing a little observing. WE know several adoptive families. A lot of them have some sort of contact with the birth families. It seems as though those who do, even if it is just a letter once a year, are having an easier go at it. Now, I acknowledge I do not live in their homes and maybe they have a whole other list of issues. And maybe I just see the longing in my son's eyes when they talk about visits with or letters from their birth parents. Anyway, I am just thinking. Any opinions out there? I do not know how much of an adoption crowd I have, but I would love to hear your thoughts.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Omnibus IV Reading List

I have talked with some of you about Omnibus IV. I thought you would be interested in seeing the new reading list. It is a little different than what is in the current catalog. It has been posted here:

They Really Do Watch Us

It has become more and more evident that at least one of my children has inherited my "the glass is half full" attitude. It is funny how we want to deny that the sins we see in our children might just stem from watching their parents. This child has struggled for years with different things and just cannot see the good side in anything. I always have these little thoughts creeping into my mind, "You know, _____ is just following your example." I then make a million excuses as to why that is not true and go on. Last night ________ explained to us that ____ tries to see the good in things, but worries just pop into ____ head and ___ cannot stop thinking about it. My husband then goes on to say,"Yeah, you have picked that up from your mother." At first I was extremely offended that he would do that in front of our child, but I could tell that this was so obvious to him and the child that it never would have occurred to either of them to keep this a secret. Well, my heart has been convicted. Years ago my husband had this project of putting all of the Proverbs on index cards and dividing them according to category. I would often pull out the anxiety, worrying, or God's sovereignty stacks and just read and pray over them for days at a time. I think it is time to do this again. As a matter of fact I think will invite this child to do it with me.

EDIT: Alright, that should say "glass is half epmty." Wow, long day!

Monday, March 16, 2009

O Lord, Please Quiet my Heart

WE have been busy and traveling and are now planning for our trip to Hawaii. All I can hear is noise! I know that sounds crazy, but as a mother of 5, I usually deal well with the noise of a house full of children. As my sister-in-law reminded me this weekend, our home will be silent again before we know it. (Her baby was married this weekend. Wow! I still cannot believe he is married! She is hearing the silence all too well.) Because we have been so busy, we have been "flying by the seat of our pants." I tend to like living this way for me personally, but it is not working so well with all of the children. So, I am trying to get back to some sort of routine. Every time I think of putting everyone back on their schedule,my mind starts racing with all of things I have to do in the next two weeks. There is no time for a schedule!! Our home is loud and chaotic and we seem to be spinning our wheels. So, as my heart and mind are full of chaos right now, I am praying this Puritan Prayer over and over.
As the sun is full of light, the ocean full of water,
Heaven full of glory, so may my heart be full of Thee.

I have found that when I have a hard time escaping the chaos it is usually because I have not quieted my heart enough to trust in our Saviour. I am sure it also has a little to do with children who need a little training or re-training for some of them.:-)

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Reading the Classics

I came across this list of classics which have stood the test of time. I think I am going to try and read through the list. It will more than likely take me years, but I am going to try. Some days all I can do is crawl to bed after reading the different books to the children. But, I am going to do better. I used to be an avid reader. I ALWAYS had several books going at one time. Now I am feeling lost in Dr. Seuss and I am afraid my brain will go to mush. I have actually done a lot of studying the past year of church history and the Middle Ages. I am finding it all fascinating. But, I want the old me back. The me that could do all of the studying, pleasure reading, and brain candy that I wanted and do it all simultaneously. So, I am giving it a go. I have already read several of them, but I am thinking of reading them again. I love to re-read books. I find that I see things in a different light at certain times in my life. Anyone want to attempt this with me?