I Am Loving It!!

I am love, love, loving my new front loading washing machine. After multiple floods, even after we thought it was fixed, we had to just get a new one. I was not even going to approach the topic of a front loader. Summers are tight on the finance side for teachers. My husband though, decided he would like to save me a little work and went with the front loader. He was thinking 5 kids = lots of laundry. Also, 4 boys = REALLY dirty laundry. So, I am doing less loads and I really do think these machines get them cleaner. He keeps telling me, "Happy Birthday, Christmas, and everything else." I say, "It is not like I turned the washer upside down on poked holes all over the place to make it leak from every corner, but thank you!"

It is a Calling- Adoption #1

I believe adoption is a calling and just like any other thing God calls you to do, sometimes it involves trials. I am going to go a little further here and say that I believe adoption is a calling for everyone. Do not get all upset on me here. Just listen a little longer. Doesn't God call us to take care of the widows and orphans? He may not call you to actually adopt them, but He does tell you to take care of them. We used to attend a church which really taught this well. How many times did I hear Pastor Bob say, "If you are against abortion, then you have to be for adoption. If God did not call you to adopt,support those who are doing it?" That is where I feel people miss the calling. You see, God also calls us all to missions. We do not have to be in another country on the mission field, but no one would argue that we should not be supporting those who are. The first thought that comes to most people's mind would be financial. Adoption is expensive. It is ridiculous in a lot of ways, but it is the reality. So, yes, if you have it, help those who do not. Someone said to me once, "If you can not afford to pay for the adoption, than how are you going to raise the child?" That, my friends is an ignorant comment. I do not believe those who think this are aware of the facts. Most people who have children everyday do not have $15,000 to $30,000 or more sitting around burning holes in their pockets. So, monetary gifts to help those who are adopting is great, but there are other ways. (I want to add here we have been very blessed by friends and strangers who have financially helped with both adoptions.) I noticed something different about the days and weeks after having my biological children and bringing home the adopted children. After having a child everyone is there to help. You kind of get a free pass for a few months. Everyone knows to not ask anything of you because you are healing and adjusting. I have found I have to be much more vocal about saying no after an adoption. After having a biological child it is assumed I need time to adjust. When you adopt it is like life goes on as normal. I will admit both times we adopted I was not fully prepared for the impact so that does not help matters. But this is just another way to fulfill this calling. Be there to help the mother. Make meals, help with house work or errands, or have the other children over. Most people do not realize this, but there is something called "post-adoption blues." It affects women in the same manner as post-pardom depression. Obviously, it is not caused by hormones, but it is very real. There are several opinions as to why it happens. I do not know what I believe, but I do know it happens. I will write more on this in another post, but know that the months following an adoption are a great time to help the family. I need to say we have received a lot of support. I am talking in general terms and telling you a lot of what I hear in conversations with other adoptive parents.

Another very important way to support adoption is being there for the birth mothers. Trying to convince a pregnant teenager or adult to not have an abortion when she knows she will be shunned by the church is not an easy thing to do. I believe we will not see a change in the abortion rate until we reform how we react to birth mothers. I am always amazed at the people who think it is almost heroic of the adoptive mother to have a relationship with the birth mother. Yes, it has to be different for each situation and a lot of times that means pretty tough boundaries, but these women made the very difficult decision to part with their child. They do it because they love them. Some people will call it lazy or not wanting to change their lives for the baby. It can sometimes appear that way, but I look at it another way. If you were to say a birth mother should not have given her child up, then you are saying the child should not be with the adoptive parents. Doesn't God place all children in the right home, biological and adoptive? These women need support. They need someone to hold their hands through dr.s appointments, praying with them through labor, and supporting them as they sign the paper work. They need friends to help them start over. Do not be afraid of them or judge them. They are sinners just like you and I. They can also be forgiven just the same. I know a lot of times there is abuse and parental rights are terminated. These women need to be held accountable and that is obviously a different post.

As you can tell I am little passionate about this issue. I am sorry if I come across too strong.

So, So Busy

I am still here. We are all okay. It has just been crazy busy. In the last two weeks we have had a field trip to Philadelphia, the one year old turned two (and since it is a Cinco de Mayo birthday dad likes to do it big), a washing machine leak which caused several floods in the basement before we knew what happened (Still not sure if it is fixed.), and worked 2 12 hour days at the PA home school convention. Needless to say blogging is on the back burner. We have a busy few weeks still as we prepare for about 200 hundred people to descend on Lancaster County for our online end of the year gathering. Therefore, I will still be hit and miss. This is the one time of year that we get so busy I feel like I am spinning. Thankfully, we know it is coming and can prepare for it. We are able to plan enough help and special things for the children that they do not seem to miss a beat. While it is all a lot of fun and something we look forward to, we are always glad when it is done.So, if I can get to my adoption posts in the next 2 or 3 weeks I will, but if not, I will be be back soon.

Feeling the Need to Get it Out

My husband and I live a pretty public life. We receive emails and phone calls on a daily basis from complete strangers. We are good with it. We knew when we contemplated starting an online school this would be one of the things that went along with it. We kind of make a living out of answering questions for these people. As word travels about our family these questions sometimes are more personal. We have become quite proficient at keeping our privacy while giving an answer. Lately, when the home schooling talk is done, I have been getting a lot of "Congratulations on your adoption. Do you mind if I ask a few questions?" Like I said I have learned to answer these questions without giving up my children's privacy, so it is really okay. The thing I have realized though, is the general public is really ignorant about adoption. I do not say ignorant in a disrespectful way, but there is certainly a lack of knowledge on the subject. So, I am taking it upon myself to educate the world.:) Seriously, I have just had a lot of thoughts and I just need to get it out. This may be more for myself. You know how it is? There are so many thoughts going around I can not get them all straight. Therefore, I am going to blog about them in hopes I can get it all together. I will be posting a few different times on this. I am sorry if it bores you. Just amuse me.

Which Part is Your Favorite?

Our pastor is going through a series on liturgy. Yesterday he spoke on "Why We Do What We Do." His opening statements really hit home for me. He pointed out a few different views on worship. I do not remember his exact words. I was juggling a couple of children. He talked about people who pick favorite parts of worship and then are kind of on auto-pilot for the rest. Some love the music and count down the minutes to the end of the sermon. There are others who are not really into that style of music, so they drift through and cannot wait until it is over. Others would like to ignore confession, but are all there for petition.So on and so on, you get the point. He went on to say that every part of the liturgy in a service plays a biblical part. It may not be our favorite, but it is our responsibility to participate with our whole hearts. I am not sure about you, but I have certainly been guilty of this.

Brain Candy

Some of you may have heard that Veritas Press is doing a summer reading contest. Since they announced this the phones and email have been going like crazy. Everyone wants to know what is quality "fun" reading. So, that has been the topic of conversation around here. Some of you may be surprised at mine and my husbands thoughts on this. First let me say two things. 1. I am not speaking on moral content here. That goes without saying. Parents must approve of what their children are reading. 2. I do believe quality must be presented often to our children. If they are not trained to love quality then it will be almost impossible to get them to find pleasure in the finer things in life. They will also develop the easy way out mentality. You know what I mean. The read any book just to say you read a book mentality. But, I do believe there is a place for mindless brain candy. My son would have never developed a love for reading if he had been made to struggle through everything he read. My daughter loves getting lost in the land of make believe. She is often getting injured because she cannot put the book down long enough to watch where she is walking. I am in a period if my life where if I thought everything I read had to be meaty, I probably would not ever read anything. I am too tired right now. Of course, there is junk that I hope never crosses my children's path, but as long as we are exposing them to quality on a regular basis, is it really the end of the world if they read brain candy every once in a while?

I Am a Mean Mother

My son informed me recently the little boy across the street thinks I am a mean mother. You see, we have rules. He thinks obedience is completely optional and about 95% of the time chooses disobedience. This is a problem because as soon as the bus pulls up in the afternoon he and his sister find their way over until dinner and most nights are back after dinner. We have struggled with what to do. I do not need or want 2 more children to raise at this time, but feel bad about sending them home to play adult rated video games and watch completely inappropriate movies. I know I am not responsible for them, but I find it interesting that they desire to be with the "mean mother" instead having the run of their home. So, for now we let them play here (Our kids are never allowed over there.Thankfully our 6 year old knew to leave when the R rated movie was put in. We said no more at that point.)We say no occasionally to let them know we need family time. My children know there is a difference in our homes. They also know if we ever see the others behavior and attitude rubbing off on them, the friendship is over. The other children also know we do not take any of the inappropriate behavior. I just wonder, when do we say enough is enough and choose to protect our own and just cut off the friendship? I use the term protect lightly because we are very careful that they play in our presence at all times.Any thoughts?