I came across this article. The author so beautifully puts the words to feelings, beliefs, and emotions that I struggle to voice.
"The encounter with our son’s birth mother left an indelible mark not so much on my memory as on my character. She helped me articulate what it means to be a good parent. A vision of parenting that was buried under many impressions and opinions emerged clearly on the horizon of my consciousness. I ought to love him the way she loved him, for his own sake, not for mine. I must not pervert my love into possession. I can hold onto him only if I let go of him."
Learning to love our children as their birth mothers do would serve us all well. I do realize this is not always the case, but it is more often than we would like to admit.
Please do read the whole thing.